A Fight for Truth
Gerhard’s own Truth is about an ordinary guy working through life’s challenges in a city, London, that offered the thrill of the bright lights but also its antithesis of darkness into which Gerhard stumbled head on. The tragedy in that truth, is that it is not unique. His story is one that is all too often told. It left him scarred and damaged. He had started to Climb his Everest to recovery and the rays of promise had begun to show with his participation in sport activities, new career studies and our intentions to build a hospitality business together.
Gerhard’s killing, is unique, at least in Britain, I would expect. Something not expected in a western democracy, not expected in a Europe of morality, not expected in a kingdom of laws, principles and decency. But it did happen and the circumstances surrounding it and what followed, are the real story in the fight for Truth.
On one of our London canal walks, many would have passed by this grafitti photographed by Gerhard on 8 December 2017.
Truth lies within separately identifiable segments of the events prior, during and after killing
Prior:
• Gerhard’s introduction to drugs, his recovery and vocal threats to expose those involved in supplying him. He was traumatized by his experience and battled to reconcile it. Asperger Syndrome made him vulnerable and placed him in danger amongst dangerous and influential individuals.
• His actions on the morning of his disappearance and especially the last two hours after disembarking from the bus at Euston Station which he had taken from the climbing club. Being an hour earlier than my being able to arrive, his movements were traced, not by Met Police, but by my own investigations, from buying treats for our walk and a larger bottle of water, all typical of him and indicating his being in a good mood. From there moving onto Starbucks just up from Sainsbury's where he spent an amount of what would be typical again of his habits, a cup of coffee and a toasted sandwich. He was clearly feeling peckish after having left early for his climbing but had missed because of being late. From there he moved on to a cash machine and withdrew £200 which forensic evidence has confirmed was to purchase “juice, the street name for steroids which he used infrequently to help gain weight – he was leanly built and gym was his daily and committed exercise. It was his lifeboat in the constant stormy seas of his mind.
• Forensic testing of the phone shows he contacted a drug dealer straight after the cash with drawl for the purchase (supply is illegal in the UK but not to purchase or possess).
A doctor would not prescribe for the purpose which Gerhard wished to use them which was to bulk up a bit. The conversations are recorded, and the exact time and place to meet is established. The dealer’s time of arrival and location are also recorded. It would have facilitated Gerhard's obtaining the steroids and then meeting with me on time as planned.
Selfie taken by Gerhard on 4 June 2017, just over a year before he died. Gym was Gerhard's dedicated routine and played an important role in managing his anxiety and Asperger symptoms. He used mild steroids from time to time to assist in gaining weight as he was genetically very leanly built.
During:
• Gerhard’s notification of where he was, the dealer’s instruction that he had arrived and where he was, placed them approximately 50 meters apart. Gerhard needed to walk there meet, greet and exchange cash for the steroids. (Their communications indicated they knew each other but had not spoken to each other in some time)
• Within twenty minutes of first being notified of the location, Gerhard’s watch stopped recording his pulse and his phone stopped communicating with the towers.
• In those same twenty minutes also, two sms messages were sent to his counsellor and to a friend. In between them, an email was sent to me, spelling only his password to his equipment at home which contained his journals. (The messages will be discussed in more detail in the evidence sections)
• For the next 11 hours, the phone did not communicate with any towers. At 11pm, after dark and after Regent’s Park gates has been locked, the phone suddenly communicated again with the same towers. Extent of rigor mortis would indicate that Gerhard was already deceased at that time. Gerhard lay within meters of the gate that was locked by a Met Police officer during day light (dusk) and when his alarm would have been sounding for his medication, which he took every night at the same time.
• Having spent the night searching for Gerhard, I resumed early the next morning and discovered his email to me. Using it I contacted the friend to whom a message had been sent and he told his first serious lie.
He informed me that he had not been in contact with Gerhard for some weeks which I knew was a lie (Gerhard was open with me and I was well aware of their friendship). The evidence shows in fact that their last communication was the night before after Gerhard had dropped off a box chocolates at his door to say goodbye, informing him that he could no longer be friends with him in order to commit to our marriage and to his recovery.
In his sms to me, he said Gerhard had sent a message and a location finder the previous day which he forwarded to me (only the location finder) which I followed and found Gerhard deceased.
• The scene was strange from the outset, even to the inexperienced eye. He lay on his back, bag under his head, which I easily removed under instruction from the emergency caller line (999), covered very neatly by his gym towel over his head and torso. It is the first of many clues of a staged scene and cover up. To cover oneself so precisely and neatly in the manner he was, relative to the position of his arms, would make it extremely difficult, if not impossible.
I was moved away a few meters and watched as Met Police officers attended the scene during which I observed a “gash like” wound on his left wrist just below the watch buckle, and grazed right knuckles. Both remain contentious evidence and ignored by the coroner. They are the two main wounds to be tested for matter contained in them that would assist in proving that Gerhard did not die at the scene where he was found and had engaged in a struggle.
• I was taken to Belgravia Police station for in camera questioning and returned home early that evening in time to feed our two dogs.
• Within the next two days, Met Police declared the cause of death as unknown but unsuspicious which ensured a limited autopsy was performed (not a forensic autopsy). It took until December for me to be informed that Gerhard had died from a lethal dose of GHB, the day before Christmas after my almost begging to be informed before then and to allow me and Gerhard's family peace over the period.
After – Police Investigations and Inquest:
• In the January, the investigating officer, met with me for the first time to run through his report to the coroner, which angered me in its content and was later shown to be substantially flawed. Even worse, it had been written in a manner so as to ensure subterfuge in leading towards suicide. For example, It contained a diary note written the previous evening of self-hate but ignored Gerhard’s coping mechanism he was taught in counselling – his gratitude list, written well after the previous dark note.
• Later that same month of January 2019, I lodged my first complaint into Met Police conduct which I specifically identified as having the appearance of corruption.
• The DPS refused to investigate the complaint insisting that the inquest had to complete without investigating my allegations; through a process of appeal, the reasons given have subsequently been officially declared as false by Met Police.
• A contentious period over the next year followed by the coroner and which I accuse her of conducting a blatantly kangaroo inquest to ensure a ruling of suicide despite substantial evidence to the contrary and the very high standard required in order to declare suicide. The coroner viciously betrayed Gerhard, had the effect of burying the truth, obstructed and perverted the course of justice.
After - Post Inquest:
As if the horrors of the Inquest were not enough, I was soon to discover the depths of the abomination of policing in the investigations and cover up in Gerhard’s killing.
• Finally, I was given permission to have Gerhard’s possessions returned from Met Police.
Their contempt and almost hatred of me and the accusations of corruption I have levied against the officers involved in investigation was on full display when I was disallowed to access the Police station and made to stand on the street pavement to be handed in a see-through plastic bag, his electronic equipment that had been held there. I was unable to properly verify the goods against the list provided and had to sign the receipt thereof against the brick wall of the station back entrance.
• On trying to obtain the rest of the of Gerhard’s possessions, his bag and other contents, which was the vital evidence of contentious argument at the Inquest and which will prove further that Gerhard did not die at the scene where he was found, I was informed after some time that they had all been destroyed some months prior.
The crime scene manager, had claimed at inquest that the markings on Gerhard’s back, caused by staining in the first hours of death, were from the bag handle, despite it being substantially different to that of the markings, and in any case, impossible since I was easily able to pull the bag out from under Gerhard’s head. Which would not have been possible if the handle were wedged under the dead weight of the body. The crime scene manager’s lie was irrelevant to the coroner, she had only one objective, which was suicide.
After lodging complaint, the only route to follow, the DPS found that the evidence “had been destroyed in error, there was nothing to learn from it, and they apologise. A blatant cover up and the most disrespectful treatment containing a meaningless “we apologise” within a lengthy document covering all aspects of my complaint of Met Police corruption. (This will be covered substantially in the evidence section of the body markings and of Met Police corruption, which includes DPS)
• I managed to find a forensic laboratory to test Gerhard’s phone for any evidence. To contain costs, they did a narrow inspection over just a few days surrounding his death. It was here that the communications were discovered in the minutes leading up the Gerhard’s heartbeat stopping, being recorded on his watch.
• Following that, a second round of testing was undertaken to establish all communications contained on Gerhard’s phone.
• At this stage it was also established that the messages referred to, had been deleted from the phone. Further deeper examination can be made with more sophisticated equipment available to Met Police to establish when the message communications were deleted: prior to death, after death and whether it was done while in Met Police possession. The forensic lab has confirmed that although deleted from the phone, the messages would have appeared on the EE report examined by Met Police during inquest, but never disclosed.
Belgravia Police Station, a fortress containing the corruption of MET Police CID officers involved in Gerhard's investigation. The place of my in camera interview in the afternoon of discovering Gerhard's body and the place of meeting with the investigating officer to review his materially flawed report to the coroner.Their prejudice and hatred of me was such that in the end, they refused me access to the building for the most decent of things in handing over my husband's possessions after finalisation of the Inquest. I had to stand outside on the pavement in front of the massive iron doors and lean against the brick walls to sign them off.
During 2020 and into 2021, I pursued every avenue to try and get Met Police to receive the new discovery evidence for investigation and to request reopening of the case.
I endured a process of obstruction from MP Oliver Dowden, Met Commissioner Cressida Dick, Ass Commissioner (DPS) Helen Ball and Dep Commissioner Stephen House.
In that journey I have sought support from the Home Office, MOPAC and IOPC with each responding that they are powerless to intervene in Met Police investigations and my accusations of corruption. Met Police was free to corrupt as they please and cover it up, unhindered by oversight.
Similarly, from the Chief Coroner and the Ministry for Justice, I have sought support and clarity on the coroner’s accountability and the extent to which there are checks and balances to prevent and detect failure and corruption. And similarly, I have been met with an answer of being powerless to intervene or act, in the end, silence used as a mechanism of defence. The coroner, free to act as they please, under undue influence or corruption, unhindered by oversight.
Confirmations of being Powerless to act:
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